What scares you?
What is the thing that you want to do, but are too afraid to do?
What scares you about doing it? Is it a fear of failure or a fear of success?
Or is it a fear of looking foolish in front of other people?
Is it a fear of what they may say? (And who is they, anyway?)
For me, it was always a fear of not being included.
Believing that everyone else was in on a secret that I didn’t know about; that there was an inside joke, and everyone knew the punch line except for me.
It left me feeling unwanted. Unloved. Left out.
And when I did try to fit in or join in, then came the fear of being criticized and judged.
What if they included me, but then didn’t like me?
Maybe it would be easier to never be included at all…
What I was most afraid of was being seen.
I’m feeling a bit of that same old fear right now.
Because I made a decision to put myself “out there” by putting myself out right here.
In this space.
Writing daily, or almost daily, about things that are important to me.
Mental and emotional health, relationships, grief and loss, trauma, self-awareness, and authenticity.
But I’m a therapist (with a bright, shiny degree.)
And I’m feeling some pressure to have a lot of answers, when really I don’t deal in answers at all.
I deal in contemplation. Awareness. Mindfulness. Resiliency.
I help people find their own answers. Personal answers to personal questions, that no one has the expertise or authority to answer other than them.
Because we are the experts on our own lives.
Going back to my old fear…
What scares me is putting myself out there. Being seen.
And although I’m still a little bit scared, I’m going to do it anyway.
I’m going to be brave.